Thursday, May 26, 2016

Fantasy Bachelorette - The Premiere


Ladies and gentlemen, Fantasy Bach is BACK!  Five years ago I did my first ever Fantasy Bachelor game for the Mrs. and her friends.  It was a hit.  It was unique.  It was different and new.  Fast forward to 2016 and apparently there are cookie-cutter Fantasy Bachelor leagues all over God's creation.  Just one more boat I missed that would have made me a millionaire.  Right there with dude-scented Yankee candles.  Like BBQ and Gasoline.  Freaking Scentsy.

But here we are and this season we have 19 people in the league.  And this season is a DOOZY.

First Impressions

  • "Canadian" is a profession.  Who knew?
  • An Asian man in a kilt is a terrifying prospect.  Imagine yourself as an English infantryman, running across the battlefield in Medieval Scotland, facing a wall of kilt-clad ninjas throwing stars and collectively shouting WaaaaaAAAAAAH!  Gruesome.
  • It's nice to see Jim Halpert pretending to be some dude named Derek.
  • The Marines have apparently begun recruiting circus midgets to fight our wars (Alex.)
  • Greasy-faced, weasley, limp bizkit specialists with pedostaches deserve love too (Evan.)
  • The fight between Midget Marine and Smolder Chad looks to be EPIC.  If I were Alex I'd headbutt Chad in the stomach.
  • Jo Jo digs bad boys and drunkards.
  • Vinny the barber has GOT to cut his own hair.  Lloyd Christmas thinks that coif is bad. 
  • James Taylor appeared bloodied and sad.  I can't wait.
Each week I will post updated scores and a short write-up after each episode.  This week only reflects points from the first cut and anyone that received bonus points.  Click the image to enlarge.


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