The Cynic and The Optimist

I am officially through with politics. It brings out the worst in people and I never feel good after discussing issues. It’s quite similar to how my gut feels after an afternoon at Golden Corral. The bipartisan politician is a mythical creature, like the unicorn or Frumious Bandersnatch; it just doesn’t exist. I certainly have an opinion on issues, but I’ve always been taught that opinions are like butt holes…everyone has one and most of them stink. So from this point forward I’m going to keep my pungent opinion to myself.

In doing some quick blog evaluation, I’ve come to realize that I may not be the person I thought I was. I generally look at myself as an optimist. I tend to look for silver linings and hold to the notion that things will work themselves out in the end. But this blog would suggest the exact opposite. I seem to be pretty cynical, sarcastic, and sometimes mean and depressing. The glass isn’t half full. It’s questionable the freaking glass even exists, and if there is a glass it’s probably a Dixie cup filled with some noxious chemical created to kill reproductive organs or cause one to break out in eyeball hives. So to establish my true optimistic self to the world I shall now make a short list of things I love and believe strongly in. Things that identify me:

I believe people are generally good by nature. I don’t underestimate the efficiency with which society can take a good person and completely break his soul and poison his purpose (look at Barbara Streisand), but in general I believe people are good and I look for that goodness in everyone.

I love a good afro.

I like scented candles. In fact, I’ve been toying with the notion of creating a line of scented candles just for men. “BBQ Ribs”, “Freshly Cut Grass”, “Fried Chicken”, and “Fireworks” are some sample scents.

I like me a good Jane Austen movie. I won’t read the book, but Pride and Prejudice on screen is frankly impossible to not enjoy. The humor is sharp, the characters are real, and the A&E Eliza Bennett is the most perfectly cast character in the history of film.

I believe hunting is wrong…FOR ME. If you want to go out into the wilderness to murder and butcher animals then feel free to do so. I have no moral issue with it. I’ll clean/gut the fish and cook it up with some salt and lemon, but I can’t catch and kill it. I’ve hunted before. I’ve killed rabbits, birds, and I drilled a deer in the hoof with an arrow once. The deer casually glanced my direction, snickered and bounded off into the trees, but I hit that mother. Each and every time I’ve killed something my heart has screamed in agony and I’m sure an angel lost its wings somewhere. Have you ever seen a fish swallow a hook? Saddest thing ever. I just can’t do it.

I believe in absolute truth. Perception may be reality to an individual soul, but perception IS NOT reality in the grand game of life. There is purpose. There is truth. There is right and there is wrong. There is action and consequence. And I actively look for truth in everything.

I am insanely patriotic. I’ve lived outside of our country and I know firsthand what the world thinks of America, and the general opinion is not kind. But I know what went into obtaining and securing this country, and I will not discount that sacrifice and effort. My freedom was paid for in blood and I am honored to stand beneath the red white and blue. My pride swells when I see the flag fly or soldiers in uniform.

I believe in God as a Supreme Being and creator. I believe He is keenly interested in what I do.

I believe there is such a thing as BAD music. This ties in to my previous point that perception is not necessarily reality. I cannot stress how strongly I feel about this. Too many times I’ve had this discussion with friends and family. I’ve softened a bit over the years, but my general stance remains solid. Memo to all of you: Just because you LIKE something does not mean that it is good. To qualify as good music, the song must have any one of the following: 1) talented and creative instrumentation/musicianship, 2) poetic writing or lyrical content, or 3) beautiful vocal quality. If your song has any one of these three, then I cannot tell you it is bad music. If your song has two of the three, then it’s a fantastic piece of music. If your song has all three, then you are looking at a true rarity. But people, there absolutely ARE instances where music lacks all three. Creed, Lifehouse, Hoobastank, Barry Manilow, William Shatner, Alan Jackson are all examples of music that completely sucks. You may like it, but it doesn’t change the fact that the music is most heinous. Truth.

I believe in crying during a movie. Doesn’t have to be sad. Doesn’t have to be happy. If a movie, or a scene in a movie is truly great, the best way to show approval is to shed tears. Examples: ET finally going home, The Terminator giving the thumbs up sign as he is completely submerged in the boiling hot molten metal, Kate watching the doors close as Michael Corleone is welcomed as the new godfather, Marlon finding Nemo, and Rocky bellowing for Adrian. Manly men of the world, it is time for reform. Let loose your inner beauty and allow the estrogen to course through your vessel. When a film moves you, cry.

I fully realize this short list puts me at risk of seeming shallow. But these are a few things that make me who I am. The cynic and the optimist.